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POOL-HALL CHRISTIANITY (Part 2)
(Silly Quotes And Other Idiocies From Our Culture)
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“Some of the students from the ‘Supernatural School of Ministry’... decided to go down to the morgue and practice raising the dead! ...they haven’t raised anyone... but it hasn’t deterred them a bit.”
- Pastor/Prophet, Kris Vallotton
http://apprising.org/2013/01/03/jesus-culture-of-bethel-church-and-practicing-raising-the-dead/
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"Whitney Houston loved the Lord... There was a grace that kept... her all the way through. The same grace led her... to the top of the charts."
- Actor/Director Tyler Perry,
speaking at Whitney Houston’s funeral
(Houston died of cocaine use)
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“You bled for this nation. You sent your son for this nation, Father God.”
- Speaker, Generals International Prayer Rally
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"God will use divorce to boost the church."
- Katy Perry's mother/pastor
http://www.christianpost.com/news/katy-perrys-pastor-mother-god-used-divorce-to-boost-church-66576/
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“I can't remember a day that I have cried more tears and prayed so much. Thank you Jesus for giving me a little more time with the love of my life. She is one tough old Republican horse.”
- Facebook post
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“Can’t wait for Romney to get in and we go and blow Iran and all those who hate Israel and America off the map.”
- Facebook post during 2011 campaign
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"You know, this is what God wants. God has something really special for you. You won with me, too, baby."
Trent Harmon, American Idol winner
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“Good Sex Can Save Our Nation”
- Church Sign in Colorado
https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/9news-evenings/can-good-sex-save-our-nation/73-410378464
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"... Jesus became a sinner for us and had to be born again."
- Speaker, America For Jesus Rally
http://christiannews.net/2012/09/30/america-for-jesus-rally-draws-both-crowds-and-concerns/
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“Keep him in your prayers.”
- Prayer request for neighborhood pet
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“I see... a child that just died. And I speak to the spirit of death in that child... ‘Live in Jesus name! Live!’ And I see a child coughing, waking up. God is on the move. God is on the move!”
- Prophet Cindy Jacobs,
claiming to raise the dead on TV
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"I would give my life for my dogs."
- Local church member
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"You don't have a God in you, you are one!"
- TV preacher, Keneth Copeland
http://apprising.org/2012/12/28/joyce-meyer-and-t-d-jakes-teaching-word-faith-little-gods-doctrine/
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“[Jesus] was resolute until my life had been completely reviewed. When I said I was sorry and asked for the mercy of His cross, He wiped away my tears and took away the great darkness.”
- THE FINAL QUEST, Emergent Church author, Rick Joyner
(Spoken by dead man released from hell after repenting)
http://christiannews.net/2012/09/30/america-for-jesus-rally-draws-
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“I had fallen SO in love with Mercy”... who “deserved a mom who could really give her the time and affection she deserved. My heart is completely broken... we are all going to miss her so much.”
- Kim Kardashian,
after pet kitten dies
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“Nuh-uh, nobody’s gonna tell me how to be a Christian; they aren’t the boss of me. I’m not gonna believe the historic, orthodox Christian faith; and you can’t make me. I’m just going to believe whatever I wanna believe; so there.”
- Homosexual church member
http://apprising.org/2010/10/11/doug-pagitt-and-homosexual-sin/
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“I promise to enjoy inhabiting my own life and to relish a lifelong love affair with my beautiful self.”
- Yoga Instructor marrying herself
http://apprising.org/2012/06/01/yoga-instructor-marries-herself/
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“God knows how great you are.”
- Saddleback Church Facebook post
(Article has been removed)
http://www.donotbesurprised.com/2012/10/saddleback-church-wants-you-to-know-god.html
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- "If I had a god, it was and will always be David Bowie."
- "From stardust we are born. And to stardust we return. Thank you David."
- "RIP David Bowie. When he said he didn't like children & I told him he was once one, he said, No, I was born a Rock God. Rock 'em in heaven!"
- "Deeply saddened to hear of David Bowie's passing. What an artist, an inspiration. I'd like to think the lights shone bright for him tonight."
- Twitter posts following David Bowie's death
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"It’s better to have an affair than get divorced."
- Church pastor
(Article has been removed)
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“... we have... a special mission in the world... to encourage others to be
just like us.”
- US Rep. Tom Foley, Speaker of the House
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“The last thing many believers need today is to go to another bible study”
– TV Megachurch Pastor, Rick Warren
http://apprising.org/2012/11/23/rick-warrens-purpose-driven-psychology-and-human-wisdom/
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"Addiction made me a better man."
- Former drug addict,
Speaker at local Town Hall meeting
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“God draws no distinctions between Himself and us. He opens up the union of the very godhead, and brings us into it!”
- Paul Crouch, ‘Praise-A-Thon
Trinity Broadcasting Network, Nov. 1990
