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POOL-HALL CHRISTIANITY (Part 1)
(Silly Quotes And Other Idiocies From Our Culture)
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"It's time to bring God back in the bed and put the bed back in the church.”
- Preacher in bed with wife on church roof
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“... when you come to church... that’s what makes God happy.”
- Victoria Osteen, Lakewood Church
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“... we ask forgiveness of the All-Merciful One, and of the Muslim community around the world.”
– Rick Warren, signatory to the
Yale Covenant For Islam and Christian Unity
http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/blog/?p=1366
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“God said, ‘I wanted to see what I looked like, so I made you... You have my DNA.’ ”
- T.D. Jakes, Mega-Church Preacher
http://apprising.org/2012/12/28/joyce-meyer-and-t-d-jakes-teaching-word-faith-little-gods-doctrine/
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“Interactions with other animals will teach us how we might interact with an alien from another world... I can hardly wait."
- MIT Professor
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"No, that is not what we're here for, she is not going to cover up. She's going to wear what she wants to wear in the name of Jesus."
- Devon Franklin, preacher
(defending skimpy-dressed wife at church)
http://www.charismanews.com/culture/55298-when-does-cleavage-in-church-become-sinful
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“Joan of Arc was Noah's wife.”
“Sodom and Gomorrah lived happily ever after."
"The Sermon on the Mount was preached by Billy Graham."
- Random comments from Americans,
Daily Focus
https://jimdaly.focusonthefamily.com/joan-of-arc-noahs-wife/
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“Just had my date with Jesus. He came to the movie theater with me to watch the movie Dolphin Tale in 3D. At least he never stands me up or breaks his commitments or promises to me.”
- Facebook post
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“God is not for us... he’s a white racist... carrying a gun and stalking young
black men.”
- Anthea Butler, Associate Professor,
University of Pennsylvania
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“God must be a Buckeye!”
- Local Facebook post after
Ohio State wins NCAA Championship
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“… you’re not looking at Morris Cerillo, you’re looking at God, you’re looking at Jesus.”
- Morris Cerillo, Inspiration Network
http://apprising.org/2012/12/28/joyce-meyer-and-t-d-jakes-teaching-word-faith-little-gods-doctrine/
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“On December 21, 2012: There will be a Phenomenal DNA Change that will happen to all mankind. This will erase our traces from our ancestors including our being descendants of the Most High. Have a DNA Test before December 21, 2012 to keep it to yourself as a Souvenir that once happened in your lifetime, you were a descendent of the Most High. Share this post with your friends to inform them.”
- Facebook post
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"In these last days God hath spoken to us by his son Ignatius (founder of Jesuits), whom he hast appointed Heir of all thing, by whom also he made the world.”
F. Doza J.S.
"The Fiery Jesuits," p, 66
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“She and I have been together for a very long time, not just here. No question in my mind about that. We were together in Egypt. I wrote about it in a book called
Out On A Leash.”
- Shirley MacLaine,
remembering her dead pet dog
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“Please help pray specifically for me that God will do another miracle to provide a new car (I’ve sown seeds so I’m wanting to see my harvest in the natural now)... I’ve been wanting to move to a new apartment or if I get married then to a new house... I need Prayer warriors to help intercede for me.”
- Facebook post
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“Do you know something? The minute that blood sacrifice was accepted Jesus was the first human being that was ever born again. Now that was real, it happened when he was in hell.”
- Mega-Pastor, Joyce Meyer
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People of faith “should so change the planet that when our first visitors from Mars arrive they will find a society fit to be called the Kingdom of God.”
- Bishop G. Bromley Oxnam,
Fifth World Order Study Conference
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“We are all Catholics now.”
- Glenn Beck
https://www.glennbeck.com/2012/02/15/details-glenn-to-kick-off-we-are-all-catholics-now-campaign/
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“As a Protestant, every time you talk—every time I see you, I see Jesus.”
- Televangelist James Robinson
to Catholic Priest
(Article and video)
(Quote at 2:17 sec.)
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"He [Jesus] became one with the nature of Satan, so all those who had the nature of Satan can partake of the nature of God.”
- TV preacher Benny Hinn
http://www.alliancenet.org/mos/1517/in-their-own-words#.XS9ZHi2ZOF0
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"God could do nothing on earth, nothing has God ever done on earth without a human giving Him access."
- Myles Munroe (Benny Hinn Show)
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“... science is the essence of our existence... Science means everything to me.”
- High School student
http://apologeticspress.org/apPubPage.aspx?pub=1&issue=1139&article=2211
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"Stop talking about the cheating... he's a man."
- Pat Robertson,
counseling woman on adulterous husband
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“God smiles when you be you… when you do what you were made to do,
God goes: ‘That’s my boy.’”
- Rick Warren, America’s Pastor
Credit: STEVE JURVETSON
(Article & video)
http://apprising.org/2013/02/12/rick-warren-on-oprahs-lifeclass-again-february-24th/
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"Trump wins. America wins. God wins. Thank you Father for hearing our cry."
- Facebook post,
after 2016 election
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“... if the far left can marginalize Santa and the Easter bunny... they then set the stage for a totally secular society in the future.”
- Bill O’Reilly, Fox News host
O’Reillyhttp://thinkprogress.org/media/2013/03/22/1760681/oreilly-easter-bunny/
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Santa and Jesus are white.
- Megyn Kelly, Fox News
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“My mission as a model... to help MINISTER as well as model! It’s not all about me!!!!! I’m there for the people! I’m there to help, to encourage, to befriend, to love, and to pray for everyone involved in the show/job. Jesus loves you!”
- Facebook post
“That is so cool. It’s neat that God chose to place you where He needs you.”
- Comment
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“Even when your faith is small... He doesn’t cancel His plan for your life. He doesn’t disqualify you and say, ‘Too bad, you need to be a believer.’ No, that’s when the faith of God kicks in.”
- Joel Osteen, Facebook
https://m.facebook.com/JoelOsteen/posts/10153190836570227?fref=nf
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“Jesus Christ is our ni**a. Let his light shine through ya. Let his love pop a cap in your butt and say hallelujah.”
- ‘Rappin For Jesus’ video,
Church of Christ preacher (allegedly)
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“... I believe that because I’m a Catholic, that comes from the Holy Spirit; my inspiration comes from that.’
- Bill O’Reilly,
"Killing Jesus" book interview
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“In 1996 God spoke through me about an attack in the USA. I saw an act of violence as terrorists flew over New York. Since then, the years to follow would provoke numerous prophecies regarding a war and the fact that God would raise up a President who would be a true Christian and who would pray. On April 1st, 2001, I said, ‘America prepare yourself, you will go to war.’ I spoke about certain attacks planned against the soldiers and the fact that God would protect them so that NOT ONE OF THEM WOULD BE INFLICTED. I believe with all of my heart that America is in the perfect
will of God.”
- Prophecy by Kim Clement
http://www.elijahlist.com/words/display_word/1433
(To date, over 50,000 U.S. soldiers have been killed in the Iraq & Afghan wars.)
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“Will you put my puppy on your church prayer list?”
Neighborhood acquaintance
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I trust the present Administration... He is a believer like I am, in Christ; and so are many others in top positions... we know we can believe them.
- E-mail regarding the Bush Administration
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“Today, _ _ _ _ _ _ left us here on earth to go raise hell in Heaven.”
- Facebook post after woman's funeral
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“Hey guys im goin on october first to get tatted up. im fifteen and wanna get a bible verse on my back or my chest cause my faith isn’t changing. any suggestions on verses? and btv if ur gunna trol and quote leviticus get the f**k out and live in the dark ages. ive heard all the s**t before im still getting a tat and if it does er up being a sin than ill pay for it like all my other innumerous ones idgaf.”
- Facebook post
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“Romney will win the [2012] election and serve a second term.”
- Prophesy by Pat Robertson
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“Rest well. You have so many angels guarding your soul tonight."
- Mindy McCready Eulogy
by former producer
(Country music artist McCready committed suicide after a life of drugs, alcohol, adultery and pornography.)
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/old-friends-turn-out-for-mindy-mccready-memorial/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindy_McCready#Personal_life
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“I am a happy Christian gay man. I am in a loving committed relationship with my partner... I love God and I love life... I serve as an Elder in my Presbyterian church.”
- Michael Bussee, co-founder of
Exodus International
http://www.beyondexgay.com/article/busseeapology
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“[In] the 1,000-year millennium, Jesus will reign from two places, Jerusalem
and Missouri...”
- Mitt Romney,
2012 Presidential Candidate
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“... in front of me is God the Father... there’s a table in front of Him; and He reaches into His heart and rips this chunk off His heart... And it’s suddenly, like... Play-Doh. And He starts molding it and shaping it, and I’m like, ‘Jesus, what is He... making?’ And all of the sudden I see... me... I’m on the table... He's crazy about me.”
- Kim Walker-Smith, female pastor & worship leader,
Bethel Church/Jesus Culture
“You’re the president of the United States, you can declassify just by saying it’s declassified, even by
thinking about it.”
President Donald Trump, 2020
